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Gregory J Yaroch
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5/30/2002
16:59:16
Subject: Starting Out
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Many people don't realize, (great way to start out, a negativenal abstract on the universal navel) how many years it has been since the Professor first hit Hollywood and then Las Vegas with the "teachings of the World's Foremost Authority". (periods before or after quotation marks always confuse me) It was W.C. Fields who first introduced Irwin to the great land of tinsel, glitter and the silver screen. It was the Professor who came to Fields' rescue when a movie shoot on location for a little known film called "The Bank Robber", later held up because of copyright struggles with "The Great Train Robbery," nearly got the movie crew arrested because someone in the little California town, where the old time bank was, called the cops, who arrived just as hidden cameras were filming Fields trotting out of the bank with bags full of money, later to be diagnosed as real money that ended up as a Vegas windfall with a full house stand off against four aces one of which was wild and two of which ended up with Fields and three Kings. Professor Corey stepped into the court room and got everybody off the hook by posting stage money as bail bond and arguing in his famous round about way that the movie had to be interrupted anyway because it might be a copyright violation but there was no way to find that out but by filming it and waiting for the reviews. The judge was sympathetic until it was revealed that the real money had been switched with two bags of stage money. But Professor Corey saved the day again by convincing everyone that the town was too close to the border, the edge of California and Nevada, to be deemed an official court of any state and that determining the authenticity of money, real or fake, was best decided in Las Vegas. The Great Train Robbery provided rapid transit to the gambling town pursued by The Keystone Cops, Charlie Chaplain, The 3 Stooges, The Marx Brothers, and a few Hollywood investors who had collected the two bags of money in a fund raiser for the filming of a film about a robbery, the title of which hadn't been decided. The whole idea, and much of the script, for the film It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, the smash hit cinerama epic filmed years later, originated during the train ride. "Since we are going to this "Final Judgement Hearing", as the judge called it, "I have a great idea for a film if you want to read my new script I have been working on called just that. It is about the mad mad mad mad world of robbery and people chasing each other around trying to find it. I've only got the first draft here in my brief case." The brief case later turned up missing but the film got written anyway. When Groucho asked, "Who is going to direct this film?", Harpo put his arms and legs around Professor Corey and honked his horn. Chico said, "That means Professor Corey should direct it." "Why?", asked Mo, Larry, Curly, Shemp, and Curly Joe. "Who are they? They look familiar." asked the judge. "We're The 3 Stooges." said the comedy team. "Then why are there four of you?" asked the judge. "They don't know. Their contracts are up for renewal.", replied Professor Corey. Harpo stood up in mock bravado as if to face the the Stooges down with a Tarzan like muscular pose to reinforce his choice of film directors for the judges film, when the argument was settled, I think, by Charlie Chaplain, although he was backed up by everyone accused of shuffling the movie money in for the real money, who said, "There is no doubt that such an esteemed group of entertainers...", interrupted by questions like, "Who are they? and "Why don't they get a union to help performers like us?", "I do mean us", continued Chaplain, "Or we who are here", "Hear, here, and where where?", from the group, as Charlie Chaplain, in his travelling bulter costume, continued, "No doubt our legal representative, Professor Irwin Corey, is the world's foremost authority on show business law and legal action and just the right man to direct Your Honor's film when and if it is written." "Then Mister W.C. Fields will settle the matter of defining the authenticity of our currency in Las Vegas," said the judge, "After all, if he gets caught cheating, I would rather not he be recognised as a legal defense in my court." Thus the name and the fame of Professor Irwin Corey, The World's Foremost Authority, was intoduced to the west coast, Hollywood, and Las Vegas. Stanley Kramer, I think, directed "It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, but word has it Professor Corey helped out a lot. He found the palm trees used in the film location for, "..the big W", perhaps because "W" is part of Irwin, as is winning, and "World's Foremost Authority" as well.


Ivan Yakbar
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1/12/2004
15:09:52
RE: Starting Out
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Life is short.
Kill yourself.
hahahahahahahaha!


Sky King
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1/13/2004
07:07:15
RE: Starting Out
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please confine your messages to either morse code, or to a maximum of 3 words. There are people here who are trying to have intelligent conversations about Fuzzy Knight and Jerry Mahoney.

SK


Fuzzy Knight
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1/15/2004
11:31:18
RE: Starting Out
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Jerry, talk to my picture tonite after Nuck's in his box. I'm gonna tell ya who his real parents are!!!
FK


mrs bush
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6/20/2004
07:57:30
RE: Starting Out
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i never see my old man, but if i see him again i'll promise him some to close this thread!


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