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Silfies Family
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11/02/2004
05:51:26
Subject: Hunk
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We the undersigned members of the Silfies Clan, publically denounce and excommunicate Hunk Silfies from our family forever onacounta he is gonna vote for bush, and not, as is generally believed, because of what he does with poultry when nobody is looking, or so he thinks.
Signed, this day Nov. 2, 2004
Skunk, Punk, Clump, Dump,Pump,Runt,Monk, Lump, Lunk,Mung,and Ed Silfies.


Hunk Silfies
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11/02/2004
11:41:30
RE: Hunk
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I hate all of you, except Ed, and I don't want to be related to any of you anyway, except Ed. And, I might add, I ain't voting for bush, cos, I ain't registered to vote, and I don't know how to vote, and Ed said he would help me but he didn't cos hes always drunk. So, I'm going to write-in my vote for one of my chickens, because they are smarter than bush, smell better than bush, and have less tapeworms than bush. So there you have it!
Hunk I'm gonna change my name Silfies


Oxford Wartzinpantz
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11/03/2004
09:02:18
RE: Hunk
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Mr. Silfies,
I think you should take a deep breath and reconsider using
one of your chicken's names as your write in candidate. First,
how would you like it if someone did that to you, huh? Having
to spend your days hanging out with jackasses like donald
rumsfeld, or wishy washy hand maidens like colin powell?
You think a chicken would be able to thrive in an atmosphere
like that? What are you thinking?
From your interesting politicol views and antic mime you did
on your now rightly defunct cable access show I had been led to
believe that you were a friend, indeed a champion for inner
urban chicken breeders everywhere.
If indeed you are the kind of guy that would thrust an innocent
barnyard creature into the arenas of washington, and its cadre
of jackasses, jackels, and jerks, then by all means change your
name, your stupid, unpronouncible, syphilitic name!
sincerely,
Ox Wartzinpants


?
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11/03/2004
10:52:02
RE: Hunk
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Dear Ox, (if that is your real name)
Didn't you and Fat Ray meet on a summer cruise?
By the way, I've changed my name in order to avoid urinal cake lickers like you, so forget you ever watched my cable access show, and not all chicken fanciers dabble in the extreme realm of bizarre tapeworm extraction, like you. In closing, I hate you , and leave us alone.
Go chase yourself,
The chicken fancier formerly known as Hunk Silfies


ox wartzinpants
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11/03/2004
17:48:07
RE: Hunk
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Big talk from a guy who couldn't tell the diference between an
albino carpet pigeon or an ulster dove! thats why your stupid
little show failed-because you are a fraud! a sham! a puppet!
There is no Hunk Sulfies, only a sad, stinky, sweaty, little man
weeping into his disolved blob of ego on a wet busstop bench.
One day you will not wake up, you will just lay there
dreaming of all the humans and all of the poultry that you have
systematicly betrayed.
ox
ps-I saw you kiss Earl in elementary school!


Ed
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11/04/2004
07:57:45
RE: Hunk
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Not Earl !, call me Ed, dammitt.........no wait...call me Earl..........no that don't sound right.........how about Otto, he drove a swell ice cream truck.................and it weren't Earl, who I kissed, it was DSD...........and if you are so smart, OX, what did DSD lose?
Hunk says to stay away from his coop, unless you supply your own salve.


Oxford Wartzinpantz
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11/04/2004
10:36:27
RE: Hunk
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nothing can salve you now!
hahahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!


Hunk
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11/04/2004
12:08:42
RE: Hunk
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good response, Ox, or is it Ort?.............but tell me, who will win the thanksgiving day football game, C or N..............you ain't so smart, and you ain't foolin' anybody either, and any of you morons start lurking around the tennis courts and drooling over my chickens come thanksgiving, I'll be the hombre standing in front of Earl's, truning eggs at your piece of crap automobiles that your dad bought you cause he was so proud that you elevated you high school GPA all the way up to ZERO, that was onacounta he paid to have you tutored by Joyce, which while a tacticle educational disaster, was by all accounts, the best time of your life.
Just Knowin'
Hunk armed and dangerous Silfies


Oxford Wartzinpantz
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11/06/2004
07:59:30
RE: Hunk
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there aint nothing you wouldnt say, hunk silfies. one would
think that after all these years you would let the joyce thing fade
into the past, instead of always throwing it in our collective
faces.
it aint no seceret what dsd lost, it was her retainer which you
wore around your pimply neck on a strand of dental floss for the
entire summer, until it dripped of fish eggs, tartar and plaque.
i want you to hear something, and you should listen:
your chicken wrangling days are behind you.
repent
ox



Johan Plunk
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11/07/2004
19:45:08
RE: Hunk
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i read somewheres that hunk silfies was named after the
character of the farmhand what burt lahr played in wizard of oz,
who are dump and lunk named after?
jp
oh yeah-can you post the answer on your cable access show
tonite as i got a white castle riding on the deal!


Hunk Silfies
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11/08/2004
04:10:48
RE: Hunk
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I was named after a rooster that my father or grandfather used to own behind his gas station, before one of them big wars. You don't want to know who Dump and Lunk are or who they were named after, and, If you want to ride a white castle, thats your own nevermind, but the cable access show tonight deals with chickens, and I've already written the script. Ed will be a guest tonight. He will be doing his performance art piece where his busts his dad's christmas bulbs with an axe. Better get a blank beta tape, cause you will want to view this often.
Hunk


Oxford Wartzinpantz
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11/08/2004
08:24:20
RE: Hunk
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is there some reason why you would do the traditional christmas
special this early in the season? afraid you are losing your grip?
also: i was in rehab this summer so i missed the july col.
sanders look alike episode, i am wondering if Jack Paladin was
the winner again this year?
Ort
is it too late to order the salve?


Hunk
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11/08/2004
11:15:02
RE: Hunk
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Jack Paladin won again last summer, but thats because we have the contest up in Hazelton, and Ed's Ma went to high school with him and makes us elect him every year even tho he don't look nuthin' like the Kernal. I'm looking for financing for a docudrama I'm presently shopping around Hollywood, about the Kernal, except I had to use poetic license and make up all the facts so the Kernal is pretty much left out of the film, leaving more space for the chickens to perform in the tennis courts, and, yes, before you ask, there WILL be subtitles. If you look closely, you will see some members of the track team running crosscountry as the smoke lucky strikes and sniff glue. If I can get a deal on this, we will have a cast party with the chickens, and the Hammerslotz Twins in the basement of Earl's. Salve is currently on sale for $5.00 for 2 buckets, or $2.00 for a single bucket.


P 1


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