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Hunk Silfies
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1/09/2004
10:11:54
Subject: Elvis and Chickens
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Personally, and I think I speak for both Ed and Logus, on this issue, that, all the people who gather at Graceland on the "King's birthday", are perfectly sane, and I would be right there with them, if I was allowed to leave my house unattended. What is really insane is them people in Key West complaining about having too many chickens running around all over the place. Ain't they never heard about herding them into chain link fenced in tennis court? That always works for me, and chickens tell me they love it.
your pal,
Hunk "Chicken Boy" Silfies



Walt Crankheimer
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1/11/2004
15:42:00
RE: Elvis and Chickens
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Mr. Silfies,
I am new to the whole chicken racket, having inherited my mother's brother Zaybo's three breeding hens and one fighting cock(Manilow) that has taken up residence in my newly restored '59 Volkswagon Bug.
Some friends of mine have told me that singing to the chickens will help them produce more eggs. I have been singing to them for three hours a day all week and still no eggs.
Am I doing something wrong?
Also, my five year old nepew Jasper tried to pet the fighting cock(Manilow) and it pecked him in his eye, causing a gelatinous fluid to run out of the socket, down his little cheek and onto the upholstry. What household products can I use to remove this stain?
Thank You,
Walt

Ps-I am glad to see you are answering questions again and I hope your cable access show is back on the air soon.

ppss-When your mother is back on her feet again will she be returning to her job at Long John Silvers?


Hunk Silfies
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1/12/2004
04:59:07
RE: Elvis and Chickens
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Dear Walt,
Thank you for you kind letter, and for your continued interest in both chickens and my public access show and Mom's job at the fish place. Unfortunately, I was unable to understand anything on your letter. I have never heard of upholstery, but when the tarp that I sleep on under the bridge gets soiled by chicken blood or myself, I find that squeezing pidgons guts on the offending stain , while it never removes the stain, it does make me laugh out loud for hours.
Hunk


Jerry Charles
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1/12/2004
09:04:20
RE: Elvis and Chickens
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Walter!
I am glad you asked! If the chickens are Rhode Island Reds I recomend a rousing rendition of "The Windmills of YOur Mind" followed by a medley of Slim Whitman tunes.
If the chickens in question are of the Naraganset variety I would launch off into my stunning Burl Ive's/ Pete Seeger Duet on vocal tromnet and swinedell.
Did you check to see if the chickens were hypnotized? Hypnotized chickens won't respond to amatuers, it takes a trained professional to wake up a hypno-chicken.
Once at Larry King's palatial estates in the Poconos I was priveleged to see him hypnotize six chickens and a rabbit. Two guests also were hypnotized by his astounding imitation of Arnold Stang reading from the blue government pages in the Ft. Worth phone book.
Also, your chickens might be dead. Ever think of that? Dead chickens don't lay eggs ya know?
If you want a satisfactory answer to your question we will need just a little more to go on!
tip your bartenders and waitresses!
Jerry


Jerry Charles
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1/12/2004
09:31:36
RE: Elvis and Chickens
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Dear Jerry,
at first I was confused as to why you had the same moniker as me. Then I realized that only I would know what s swinedell was, so I was sure that you and I were the same. You ain't foolin' anybody, you know ! I know there is something going on here, but I don't know what it is, but I'm gonna' find out, and when I do, you and I are gonna' be sorry. Swinedell indeed !
Your Pal,
Jerry Charles



Bob and Larry
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1/13/2004
04:25:25
RE: Elvis and Chickens
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Come in Bob,
I'm here Larry, whats up?
I;m getting alot of incoming morse code messages from Sky King, Bob,
what do they say, Larry?
I don't know Bob, I never learned morse code, did you?
no, sorry Larry, me neither
should we report the messages to NASA, Bob ?
they probably won't believe us , Larry
I'm not sure I believe us either, Bob,
theres something we allways agree on, Larry
I think its time to come down, Bob
yes, Larry, its time....I'll clear the runway
thanks Bob, over and out
Roger, Larry, over and out
....---..--...-.---.----....-.-...-.---.--
did you hear that Bob?
no Larry, I didn't hear anything
me neither Bob




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