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Ed Feebdiver
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12/24/2003
06:16:06
Subject: Aquatic Accidents
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Ah, sheerzitz

I smeerzashed my beerszalls on the reerszock !


Mrs Newhouser
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12/24/2003
09:02:49
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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STOP IT!!STOP IT!!!


Ed Feebdiver
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1/05/2004
11:17:37
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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I managed a triple gainer off the American Standard hopper into a full tuck and a quadruple axle belly flop (no mean feat !) into the last urinal near the condom machine in the rest room of the Motel 2, in Vegas, during the Britney Spears / Jerry Charles nuptuials. Don't tell anybody, because urinals ain't cheap, and I ain't gonna' pay for any more of them busted ones because I'm an artist, and I should get a government grant or at the very least, a stipend to develope my routine. If a horse can jump off Steel Pier, then I oughta be able to dive into a urinal. It ain't like I'm one of them sissies what dives into a bidet. Anybody can do that. Heck, my kids can do that. Urinal dving is an artform !



logus
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1/05/2004
19:05:29
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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ed,
if that is indeed your name, i am wondering (and here i must caution-i am not asking this for monetary gain) which is the prefered urinal of urinal divers? i would think the royal-sloan would be most appropriate, but mrs. newhouser insists that true pros use only the boston quiet flush.
i have a hand job and a tuna melt riding on this answer. you can write to me here, or if you cannot write, call. let it ring, however, as it takes me a few minutes to put my trousers on and dash down the hall where the payphone is.

logus the unfortunate


Earl Feebdiver
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1/06/2004
04:20:47
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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Dear Logus,
As Ed was injured in an unfortunate diving mishap, he has asked me to reply for him, since he and I are really the same person. Personally, we don't care what brand of urinal is used, as long as it has one of them sensor's that flushes automatically when you stand in front of it. We/I feel that it is more sporting this way, in a manner not unlike the cliftdivers who must gauge when the waves will come in before they dive, to avoid landing in 1 foot of water. The sensor flush urinals present even more of a challenge since the diver has no idea whether he will hit the protective trickle of scented water, or in fact crash against the porceline surface, rendering himself unconcious or in some cases deceased. Always remember that urinal cakes are not approved for life saving devices or for internal consumption. If you are a novice in the world of urinal diving, you may want to find one of them trough urinals, to develope your technique prior to attempting sensor flush urinals, but that of course, is up to you, and only a suggestion from seasoned professionals.
Ed & Earl


sky king
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1/06/2004
07:48:22
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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I too kissed Earl when he was 9.


Pop Streen
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1/06/2004
10:45:48
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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To whom it may concern:
I know for a fact that the only human (sic) that kissed Earl when he was nine, was Sandra, Harold's sister, the one with the one giant nostril, and Earl had to hit her in the head with a snowshovel a half a dozen times before she agreed to kiss him, and even then she had a bilious attack, projectile vomiting, a punctured spleen, rabies, venereal diseases that they still don't have names for, and a species indentification disorder known only among the lower primates, facial incontinenence and frog eggs between her toes. so, I hardly see Earl as the victim here. He did perform rather well on the track team, in later years, especially in the hop , spit and hurl.


Ed
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1/12/2004
15:04:05
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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POP STREEN KISSED ME WHEN I WAS NINE!!!!!
call me earl, damnit!!!
ed


Dwight Columbia
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1/13/2004
10:42:39
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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Dear Ed, I mean Earl, I mean Ed,
I thought this page was apposed to be bout aquatic accidents, whateber dat is!

AhhhhhhWWWWOOOOOWWWWWWW !!!!!!!!!!!!

Dwight


Sky King
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5/26/2004
19:03:51
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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no more rides for you,jerry!never!never again!you gained weight over the spring and my little bity plane cant take it. now get off!


mrs. bush
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6/20/2004
07:41:27
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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i want all posting on this thread stopped immediately!!


arturo
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10/13/2004
07:53:52
RE: Aquatic Accidents
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in my native spain we are often regailed with tales of the famous
american urinal diver, feebdiver, but the spanish government
refuses to allow this great american athelete an entrance visa
due to security concerns.
we are left with only the silfies kinetescopes as our only
documentation of this great icon.
mr. feebdiver-we love you in spain and would fling open the
lids to our finest pissouirs if only we could smuggle you into our
country. damn that president bush.
can anyone make us dvds of the hunk silfies show?


P 1


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