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Chance Nehgren
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11/30/2003
10:04:34
Subject: Kennedy Assassination
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Professor Cory,

What would be your theory on the JFK-hit?
Reliable sources from the rock-and-roll world adamantly espouse the rumor that Brian Epstein had Kennedy killed because he wasn't going to let the Beatles come to America to do the Ed Sullivan Show.
Keep in mind that only 5 or 6 weeks after the assassination, the Beatles were on the show before millions of awestruck witnesses.


Billy Bob Burkburn
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11/30/2003
17:55:54
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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What in the heck could The Prof know about the Kennedy murder? Cory ain't from Texas. I AM!!!!!

Johnson had Kennedy offed. He wanted the white house. He wanted Jakie-o, in fact he wanted JFK. Johnson was a homosexual. He and J Edgar Hoover spent way too much time in the suana together at Bethesda, Md.
The Beatles paid to have Jim Croce's plane crash, and Freddie and the Dreamers masterminded the Otis Redding plane crash, but Buddy Holly's plane-crash was simply a matter of Big Bopper was trying to change seats with Buddy mid-flight, and Big Bopper was flatulent, and after having eaten 3 large chili dogs Waylon had fetched him after the Surg gig, Bopper farted a big slurpy one in pilot Roger Peterson's nostrils, who immediately flew the plane into a cornfield in Iowa killing all aboard.


lee h
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11/30/2003
18:13:00
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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i thought paul mccartney killed jack ruby!
and mrs newhouser believes it to be the work of the elves in that keebler commercial,the little tree dudes, which aint that far fetched-those elves aint got no union. i blame that fat b-----d santa!


Sally Struthers Mom
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11/30/2003
18:49:44
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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The only thing Paul McCartney killed was a chance to marry my beautiful daughter when he got caught with marijuana in Japan.He should have been drawn and quartered in Hirashimo.


earl
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11/30/2003
19:35:40
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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I have always loved you! I loved All In The Family! This has been plaguing me for decades,
you know when Archie goes upstairs to take a shit and we hear the toilet flush? how come he didn't have no downstairs toilet? You know, for the guests? What if George Jefferson came over and needed to pinch a loaf? Would Archie let him upstairs? I don't think so. That stupid show was so unrealistic and fell completely in the crapper when Stretch Cunningham died. Now there was a funny guy!


John Doss
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12/01/2003
04:58:01
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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Dear Prof,
While hearing voices in my head is something that I've learned to deal with, since childhood, lately I've been hearing the voices in Jerry Charles's head. I can live with that, but I've begun to hear the voices in Jerry Mahoney's head.
Should I be concerned ?
ps--have you seen my library card?



Prof. Irwin Corey
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12/01/2003
06:49:51
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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Hey Kids,
I wish you folks would behave yourselves on the message boards. Some of this stuff is disturbing. We have young people reading this stuff, and we don't want to give them the wrong idea. Now, Jerry Charles, theres a man of integrity ! and good looking too, except for his head.
Your Pal,
Prof Irwin Corey


rickie the c
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12/01/2003
07:51:33
RE: Kennedy Assassination
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i agree big time, it all began with that guy who implicated me in the utility room incedent-an event in which i deny any participation or fore-knowledge.
now, to disspell another rumor:
jerry charles is not real!! we created him in orange county calif. he was rigged up by the same group of geniuses that make lincoln sing and dance in disney land. the reason for the large cranial design is that he carries a tiny h-bomb in there. and i could press the button anytime!!
so straighten up and stop rattling the professor,
who is currently engaged in high level cabinetry, doing important rewrites of "rummy"'s up coming speeches! loose lips...
nuff said.

ps-hi sally!!


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