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bruce
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10/05/2003
10:09:29
Subject: gandmas lye soap
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does anyone know where i can obtain a copy of the subject song (sermon? (lecture?)

thank you


ricardo cheney
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10/20/2003
12:25:25
RE: gandmas lye soap
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i know where to find it. just because it hasn't been found does not mean that it does not exist!
our intelligence on the routine was reliable. verifiable. that you can not find it now does not imply that it does not exist. you have only been searching for it for a short time, we have had lifetimes to hide it. just because you cannot find it does not mean it does not exist. you pink wearing commiebaiting turban wearing oil stealing eater of sheep! if you don't like our country just leave it. i refuse to sit here and let you take a shit on the american flag! rather, i stop you, i say "take that shit back", i make sure your ass slams shut and stays shut. anyone who says other wise is blinded by their own cynical ties to special interest groups. so you just watch yourself and straighten up, or else we will fly up your ass and cut off your ignorence at its source. now go back to your tipper gore blow up doll and give the gal a workout! big time.


Jerry Charles
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10/24/2003
04:45:28
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Hola Ricardo,
Did I mention that I also do a Spanish Language medley of popular Jerry Vale country classics. This went over big when I was in lock down in Juarez following that cold creme incident at the border. Logus had to quit show buisness again due to his misfortune, so I'm auditioning new opening acts.
peace.......I'm out
Jerry Charles


dickyboy
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10/31/2003
11:52:25
RE: gandmas lye soap
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i have the full report on "logus" on my desk right now. i think there is enough here to put all of you behind bars for a long, long time. you guilty little turnips. you sneaky little thieves. i know what each and everyone of you is thinking.
and a reminder on hygiene: i am watching you!

STOP HIDING SUBLIMINAL CODES IN MY MESSAGES!!!!

i have all of your ipa's!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!



Hop A Long Charles
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11/07/2003
07:59:56
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear Prof:
My former agent, Mel Gruver, told me that if it wasn't for the peculiar shape of my head, and the studio's reluctance to get me a custom made cowboy hat, I coulda been an extra on one of them westerns at RKO. Perhaps if this information was on the internet, I would suffer less personal humiliation.


M.Gruver
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11/08/2003
15:24:28
RE: gandmas lye soap
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I must say I am shocked at the abuse thrown around on this board.
Professor, i know you made it clear back in '54 at little Richie's birthday party that you never wanted to hear my "sphincters whine" of a voice, or "set eyes on my living body" again, and I do not blame you. I apologized many times for the behavior of the magician, and yes we all agree that the trick was strange and in questionable taste, and yes the children seemed frightened. All I can say is he has always been troubled and we did replace the family maccaw and hamsters. I sent you Jerry's fan club xmas albums for six years after that. Who could have known?
To blame Jerry for this, as you have all these long years, and then to hold him up for public humiliation is unforgivable. Shame on you.
I can tell you that Jerry Charles is a true professional in every sense of the word, a true talent, which is something you know nothing about.
I would say these things even if my sister had not married the guy.
The tragedy of the RKO situation is something I have always blamed myself for. If only I had invested in that orthopedidc cowboy hat. But who knew? Jerry Charles could have been a singing Jack Palance, or even bigger if he was not cursed with the strange happenstance of a grossly mis-shapen cranium.
News Flash: Just because the back of the guy's head is shaped like a glutius maximus does not mean he has no feelings!
That casting guy at RKO who said "Cowboy hat hell, that thing needs a bicycle seat" was a jackass whose casual abuse caused Jerry setbacks that cost him his marriage and nearly disabled him for life. "Hey Ass head, what do you comb that thing with, one-ply or two?"
People can be such bullys. I expected more from you. I am ashamed to say that I was your manager fifty years ago, and I have a good mind not to even send you that check.
And for your information: Yes, the guy in Sky King really does fly that plane!
To dc: There is no conspiracy here,the photos you disclaim have been posted on the Billy Barty website for over a year.

Now grow up, you FATHEADS!!
Mel in Florida


Harry Mast
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11/11/2003
05:09:34
RE: gandmas lye soap
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I've noticed that the name Jerry appears quite often on these message boards. Jerry Charles, Jerry Mahoney, Jerry Vale, Jerry Lewis...well maybe not Jerry Lewis, but he is my favorite comedian...him and Prince Kelly...I wish my name was Jerry. Perhaps I will change it someday. do you know if it is expensive to change your moniker to Jerry? I hope not, cos I'm not supposed to have any money, thats one of the rules.
Thank You,
Harry Mast


real deal
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11/11/2003
10:11:40
RE: gandmas lye soap
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you blithering jack ass! i know what you mean by that and i am repulsed. that you brought money into the issue is particulary repugnant. that you have to pay for it does not surprise me, but that you would use this message board for our country's foremost authority to publicly attack and humiliate my dear friend, and true patriot gerald ford is unconscionable. his actions healed a fractured country. his service one the warren commision should stand as a shining example.
if i were not now in an undisclosed location doing various of my undisclosed business activities with my undisclosed advisors and partners, i would slap the jelly donut out of big john' hand, turn off matlock and have him shove your precious bill of rights down your pansy liberal throat while karl rove and i jump rope with your colon. now go outside and play while i finish wiping.


Joe Pouch
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11/12/2003
04:34:06
RE: gandmas lye soap
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While I try to avoid political discussions, I would like to throw in my 3 cents and say that I was not aware that Warren Oats was a commissioned officer or that he drove a ford. I once had a Desoto, but thats too painful to talk about. I once encountered a fellow named Dick Chaney at a carnival in La Paz, he had a girlfriend named Helen, who was a statuesque blond with a mean pitching arm and lived in a school bus with her son "Hunk" and his chickens. You have come along way, unfortunately, my existence has been frought with peril, disillusionment and venereal disease.
All the best !
Joe Pouch


mike
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11/12/2003
17:09:48
RE: gandmas lye soap
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when will you open the message board up so that we can post naked baby pictures of our favorite entertainers?
also, on ebay i paid this guy named garry charles or something like that, twelve dollars for a naked baby picture of charlie callas, can you check into this, professor, and see if this picture is really him? the head is so big!


Earnie and Winny
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11/13/2003
04:36:42
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Me and Winny are getting sort of upset over all the phony messages being posted here. I/we thought this was supposed to be about the Professor, not a forum for idiots. If things don't improve, we will be forced to hang you on a doorknob by your belt, like we done to Zeb, when he busted the porceline sink trying to get toothpaste out of the tube with a hammer.
Earnie, Winny and Earnie


Chipper
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11/13/2003
07:52:57
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear Prof.
Hows comes my wife thinks its a reasonable idea to have a bidet installed in our rest room, but when I proposed buying a urinal for the guest powder room, she questioned my sanity?

Chip
Pennsylvania, USA


al
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11/14/2003
12:25:20
RE: gandmas lye soap
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dear professor corey,
when does the pain go away?


Enos Petus
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11/16/2003
23:59:13
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Professor,
I recently found a roll of toilet paper you autographed for me at the Philadelphia Airport back in '57. You are still the funniest man whose ass I ever had to wipe in an airport terminal. You had me, with those bandaged fingers! I was hesitant when you approached me, but then I recognized you, felt sorry for you, and thought I would help out so that I would have the story to tell. And what a story! Boy, when I was finished, you thanked me,peeled the bandages off your fingers and left me standing there in complete shock and denial!
My wife loves that story. I am thinking of selling this item on ebay and wondered what you thought it might bring? Stories one always has, cash is not so constant.
thanks


Jerry Charles
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11/18/2003
10:23:35
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear Al,
I can't answer for the Professor, but from where I stand/sit, don't count on the pain ever going away. I hope this doesn't cause you additional distress.
Jerry Charles, fellow sufferer


al
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11/25/2003
21:01:57
RE: gandmas lye soap
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thank you mister charles.
didn't i meet you once in a utility room
in some unfinished apartment house off sherwood ave? if so, how are you? did the oozing sores on your feet ever clear up? what ever happened to that magician kid that would punch himself unconsciouss for three bucks? i better go now before they figure out which swithch throws the genny.
al

p.s. who the hell is this professor guy? was he the one on gilligans island that lived alone?


Jerry Charles
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11/26/2003
04:14:21
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear Al,
I don't know who the professor is, but my sources tell me that he has something to do with this website, so be carefull what you say. He may be listening. Personally, I never was in that unfinished private family home on Sherwood Street, but I was across the street in another unfinished home, staring out the window and watching as realtors brought prospective clients through the home, and listened for their screams when they went into the utility room and discovered what Ed did. You really had to be there.
Jerry Charles


earl
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11/26/2003
09:40:31
RE: gandmas lye soap
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EARL
YOU STUPID BASTARD
EARL
MY NAME IS EARL!
SAY IT!
SAY IT YOU BIGHEADED JACKASS!
EEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLL!


sincerely,
ed from catasauqua

p.s. i have been in the utility room on sherwood street and did not think the card trick that bad.


jerry mahoney
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11/26/2003
11:23:27
RE: gandmas lye soap
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very funny-i just saw the photo of logus and me, some joker photo-shopped a baldie's head onto sky low-low's body! knuck and i laughed for twelve minutes and then winch had to put him back in the box!
that bald pate, so familiar. i must ask fuzzy about this one!


Paul Winchell
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12/03/2003
09:29:05
RE: gandmas lye soap
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My lips are sealed!


larry the third
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12/06/2003
10:22:17
RE: gandmas lye soap
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dear professor corey,
what are the five flavours of "bottlecap candy"?
and: if you were in a plane that was crashing, to save man kind you had to tongue kiss dick cheney or karl rove, who would you choose?
remember, the fate of mankind hangs in the balance!
little larry 3


l the 3
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12/20/2003
10:14:49
RE: gandmas lye soap
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i had a dream that i was in a biplane with sky king and jerry mahoney, the plane was crashing and the fate of the free world hung in the balance, thinking quickly i began inflating my karl rove doll and was just taking my mouth off the air stem when i woke up. so i never did find out what happened to the planet or its worthless inhabitents. if anyone out there has had the second part of this dream, please let me know!
L3


Lance Hillpot
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12/22/2003
05:06:28
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear L 7
I had the second part of your dream. I was making out with Chrissie Hynde of the Pretenders, in my room at my parents house, and she was in love with me, and she was beautiful and younger, and I wasn't nearly so fat, and then my Ma come in the room and caught us, and Chrissie left in her sports car to go to England for a concert, but she told me I was her one true love, and I was happy, but confused, and then some big kids held me down and smeared that chia pet crap onto my crew cut and it started growing weeds on my head and I was afraid Chrissie would stop loving me, then the monsters came and I began to panic, but I couldn't find the door in the dark because of the weeds hanging in my eyes, and I couldn't wake up, and I still can't wake up, help me, help, when will I wake up?

Lance


Jerry Charles
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12/22/2003
09:37:50
RE: gandmas lye soap
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If this message board is any indicator, i would say never, I hope this does not cause you further grief, but from my experience I can tell you this: You will never wake up!
somewhere in Drypesland, I am,
J.C


Jerry Charles
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12/22/2003
10:16:09
RE: gandmas lye soap
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Dear Jerry Charles,
You ain't Jerry Charles, because i'm Jerry Charles, and I'm reasonably sure that there is only one of me, at least most of the time. If you are really me, then you will know the answer to this question that only I know. So there! If you are me then you will already know the question. you must think that I/we are pretty dull not to be able to see thru your scheme. Now, go away and stop being me.
I ain't kiddin' around, and you ain't foolin' anybody!
Jerry Charles


JERRY CHARLES
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12/22/2003
10:27:37
RE: gandmas lye soap
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I knew you were going to say that!


Dick Cheney
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12/22/2003
13:01:13
RE: gandmas lye soap
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I knew both of you were going to say that. Now knock it off, you pathetic little nay sayers.
I have installed spyware in all of your files, everything you type or read I have. I can watch you too! I am watching right now!
Stop breathing before you hurt yourselves!
DC

THIS MESSAGE BOARD IS UNDER INVESTIGATION PENDING FURTHER NOTICE! POST AT YOUR OWN RISK!


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