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concerned republican
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4/01/2005
04:58:58
Subject: chimp comparison
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I am deeply disturbed by the Brussel's manual that compares bush with a chimp. bush don't look nothin' like a chimp. as a chimp, I am highly insulted. if i had a face like that, I would shave my ass and walk backwards !

I say we boycott sprouts !
J. Fred Muggs, Chimp


bingo
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4/01/2005
08:35:29
RE: chimp comparison
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having been in show business for decades, i, naturaly was
exposed to my fair share of humiliations. first off, let's not
forget that for two seasons on the bud and lou show i was
forced to share a dressing room with joe besser, scary huh??
i go into more detail about that in my forthcoming auto-
biography, "no, i'm just happy to see you!" co written with the
help of noted show business scribe elgin l. pew (nick tosces eat
your dago heart out!).
however, i feel i must remind my primate peer that he was
the one who got off easy.

1. he was allowed to smoke-TO SMOKE!! if i even
picked up a zippo to see my own reflection,
joe besser would scream this high pitched girly
scream and jump up and down until the humanity
ran down his chubby legs.
2. he got to share a dressing room with dagmar,
from broadway open house. DAGMAR-2 of the
biggest talents in television!
3. after 2 seasons on the abbott and costello show,
prescott bush became obsessed with me and
purchased my contract from sid fields. i was
then whisked off to texas to become a tutor and
mentor for his idiot grand chlidren. at least
dave had the decency to whack himself out of
there, freeing you from the acursed "reunion"
shows. i on the other hand have been stuck
in texas for five decades, subsiding on a diet
of burnt or dropped hamburgers, and walking
around backwards with my ass shaved!
actually the ass shaving did not play into
things until 1988, so i guess i have less to
complain about then i thought.

boycott sprouts??? would that i were so lucky. ever see what
fifty years of burnt meat will do to your colon? you might not
think that it sounds to bad, but keep in mind the ass shaving.
they are not as careful as they were before the events of
september 2001. now they don't even use lather,"bob, where is
chimps from?" "i dunno, africa??" "that's what i'm thinking, this is
probably one of them muslim chimps" "Ooops!!" "nice bob, you
got blood on my shirt"!
boycott sprouts??? i used to eat them at the horn and hardart
with adolph menju and guy kibbee, back in the golden days. i
have not had a vegetable in fifty years! i would eat through the
crotch of twenty pairs of barbara's double wide panties just to
smell a brussel sprout.
so before you go around blowing off your monkey mouth,
think of those of us less fortunate!
bingo


J. Fred Muggs
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4/01/2005
09:49:02
RE: chimp comparison
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Dear Bingo,
What an unfortunate story. It reminds me of a very sad tale from my old pal, Chatter, who had a short lived tv show out of Philly, many years ago. While sharing a dressingroom with Joe Besser is virtually impossible to top, Chatter did confide to me that he had once been molested by gwb as a chimp (Chatter, not gwb), after Prescott flew out from Philly to Texas to perform at a bush baby (jeb, I think) birthday party in the late 50s. While there, they drugged him and when he woke up in gwb's rodeo themed bunk bed dressed in a zorro outfit, he realized gwb was humpin' him like a wildcat. I won't go into the details because they will make us both vomit, but poor chatter got pregnant as a result of this texas tryst, and gave birth to a half bush half chimp which she named "bubbles" who was purchased by Michael Jackson, and lives with him in a las vegas style cage in neverland, where he can't get out and eat the testicles of tourists. I was once engaged to one of the Marquis chimps, but it didn't work out because of the language barrier. did you ever swing from a chandelier and hurl chimpshit at humans eating dinner? I love that!
your pal,
J.


karl rove
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4/02/2005
15:46:54
RE: chimp comparison
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Yes, as a matter of fact I have.
And I will again in three more years.
I own you,
Karl


zoltan fubwa
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4/03/2005
10:17:29
RE: chimp comparison
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i would like to take a moment this fine spring day to
acknowledge both show buisness legends mr. muggs, and
bingo. i would also like to offer a special thank you to bubbles!!
zf


M. Jackson
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4/05/2005
05:37:35
RE: chimp comparison
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I'm forever blowing Bubbles !


elvis nelson
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5/25/2005
15:42:19
RE: chimp comparison
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Aint nothin.


rick presley
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6/11/2005
18:57:57
RE: chimp comparison
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ain't nothin but a travelin man.


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