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Lorenzo The Barber
Guest
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3/17/2005
08:11:23
Subject: ATTN: BING AND LIBBY ARE POSERS!
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Message:
I, Lorenzo The Barber, hear by annonce that first monday of the
month hair cuts at Bing And Libby's is cancelled. Itsa not going
to happen. I have been insulted and abused many times in my
career as a coifeur, but a never, never have I been treated with
so little respect anda common decency as I was ata Bing And
Libby's last night.
It is no seceret that Bing drinks, and thata Libby sleeps with
everything that holds still long enough, and she is not even
thata good!
I have been passing this kidney stone fora two days, and I
gotta piss alla the fucking time. In the middle of Casper
Newhouser's three dollar French razor-cut flap top with a
reverse comb down over the three moles on the back of his
head, I suddenly gotta go, so I duck into the garbage room,
because it smells better thana the bathroom, and i am pissing
ina the floor grate, through one of them funnels cause a some
wise guy at the clinic want some ofa them stones, and i gotta
little pee on my shoe and I went inside to wipe it discretely on
the underside of one of them checkered table clothes they got
on the two booths, and Libby has gone over and started cutting
away on Casper's head. Bing he laffsa so hard he busts the
button on his trousers anda they fall around his ankles. No
underwear, dark ugly things. Casper he starts jerking around
like he's gonna wake up! Libby is cuttin away! I jump in there
and say, "Hey, Libby, thatsa not how you cuta that boys hair!
Who taught you how to cut hair anyways?" and she saysa, "You
wanna see a hair cut?" and she lifts up her faded blue house
coat and showsa her muff. More hair thana ZZ Topp! And she
takes those siscors anda she cuts a big mousey gray tuft from
her muff and she sticks it ona Casper's chin! And I say, "Libby,
he asked for the French cut!" And Libby says, "This is my french
cunt" and she grabs my new straighta razor and runs the edge
of the blade through a pile of cheese froma Pudd's barstool and
she says, "Hey, cheese in a can! Say frommagge" and she cuts
Casper on the ear!
And he snorted like he was a gonna wake up, and Bing is a
standing there with his pants down laughing, And I tell her that
they never let you do things like that in barber school. The
blood and pud cheese were mixing together at the tip of thata
boys ear and trickling down the back of his neck. I looked at the
boys head and knew I had a big challenge before me! I took out
the clippers and I fixed the kids hair, but Bing still refused to
give a me the three dollars! He said, "Here's a buck. The way I
look at it Libby did most of the work" Can you imagine?? And it
was the same with every kid that came in with one of those fake
mustaches and past out fromma too much beer! Libby, she
wrecks my business!
From now on if you want Libby to cut your hair, fine, pass out
over there. If you want to enjoy your self and not worry about
getting an amatuer haircut while you are past out, meet me at
the pup tent, behind Donnies. Make an apointment witha my
new receptionest, Jumbo.
Thatsa all fora now!
Lorenzo
The besta Fuckina Barber ina alla ofa Cattasauqua!


Jerry Charles
Guest
 Email

3/17/2005
11:09:02
RE: ATTN: BING AND LIBBY ARE POSERS!
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Message:
Dear Lorenzo,
How bout penciling me in for a trim next Monday, if the methamphetamine has worn off by then. And get some new porno magazines, at least some recent ones, just as long as they don't feature migets.

Jerry


Lorenzo The Barber
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 Email

4/03/2005
15:42:26
RE: ATTN: BING AND LIBBY ARE POSERS!
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Message:
Thatta louse Jerry Charles! he nevva show for his appointment!
i found six dirty magazines down by the resivoir and i put a
new edge ona my shears, and that big headed louse, he pullsa
the no show! well dig this Mister Charles: i have shaved bigger
heads than yours! your head aint so big. in fact itsa kind of
small! so there!!


nygen kilzenski
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 Email

5/25/2005
15:43:47
RE: ATTN: BING AND LIBBY ARE POSERS!
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Message:
it's about time to not.


helen kellers kid
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 Email

6/11/2005
18:55:37
RE: ATTN: BING AND LIBBY ARE POSERS!
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Message:
i see now. i know who posts on this assinyne so called message board.what kind of stupid morons post on this so called forum.what......i ask you.......what kind????????


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