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Hunk Silfies Jr.
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2/24/2005
04:31:46
Subject: chicken messages
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while tending to my uncle Hunk's chicken flock this morning down at the tennis courts, I realized that some of the older chickens were sending mesages to each other (and laughing), by spelling words in chicken droppings on the asphalt. At first I didn't believe that chickens could do that, but then I realized who was president, so anything is possible, maybe.
my favorite chicken dropping message went something like this (paraphrased)
chicken # 1 : what was president's name before he changed it?
chicken # 2 : GEORGE W. BUllSHIT !
CLUCK, HA, HA, CLUCK, HA, CLUCK,HAHAHAHA, CLUCK
makes you think, don't it ?
Hunk Jr.


carnegie schuate
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2/24/2005
08:27:31
RE: chicken messages
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could it be possible that the chain link fence, so sturdy and
protective a covering, is located near a transmitter and is
somehow picking up radio signals?
chickens are known receptors to radio signals*
and they very well could be being controled by a source or
sources that are hostile to the united states!
in my opinion these chickens need to be investigated, perhaps
even interrogated, with a full rendition aproved by our attorney
general, the dynamic and handsome arturo gonzales.
these chickens need to be isolated and kept away from the
younger chickens. an electronic robotic remote controled device
should be used for this purpose.
the older chickens should be held in contempt, their futures
placed in peril, the younger chickens should be relocated to
other chicken coups and then slaughtered.
i hope this does not cause you distress. thank you for
reading my blog and responding. remember that each letter in
this post draws you ever closer to death. read on.

*see earlier post about chicken/crystal radio kits


Seth Poole
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2/24/2005
12:20:36
RE: chicken messages
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Dear Prof:

How can Hunk Jr. be the nephew of Hunk Silfies?
Mrs. Schuate, from the above post was a clasmate of mine at Rittersville State Hospital back in the early 1950s. I know for a fact that she and Hunk's mother had a daliance in the boiler room (later called the utility room) after hours in the pre-dawn light of perversion, where they played the worlds worst song, "Norman" thru flatus tubes that they swiped from Mr. Flapper who monitored the supply shack. They would dance nekid like whirling dervishes and bark at milk trucks like laughing pirates, and eat corndogs made out of real chihuahuas, and drool with passion like a sloth in heat, and knock over folding chairs and stuff the feminine napkins up their noses in a thinly veiled attempt at a magic act that never materialized due to their botched lobotomies. I have this whole episode on 16 mm, and can tell you with almost complete and partial accuracy that it is the most vomit inducing visual and aural assault of the senses that you can possibly imagine, and I would know, since I have watched at least twice a day since I was released from the institution in 1961.
Thank you,
S. Poole



moon man mullins
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3/05/2005
22:33:42
RE: chicken messages
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hunk, those chickens that you loaned me don't work right. they
won't stay in the van and they always criticize my singing. the
red chicken flew over my cot when i was snoozing last night and
dropped a turd right in my mouth! i almost choked. it didn't
taste right, almost like it had too much nitrogen or something.
any how, i want you to take them back and return my robert
goulet 8 tracks. i think i'm gonna take that road trip to lumpoc
and see if i can find mom. wanna go?
mmm


Hunk Silfies
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3/06/2005
03:56:33
RE: chicken messages
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Dear Moon Man,
Ill go, but only if we take two bikes. Im not sitting on the back of your banana seat again, it hurts my buttocks. And the chickens find it frightening.


moon man mullins
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3/06/2005
08:50:46
RE: chicken messages
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earl jr. borrowed the schwinn without my permission and when i
caught him and beat him for it, the banana seat was missing. he
is paying me off in kents.
i was wondering if we built that chicken powered hell-o-
coptor that you are always talking about, maybe we could take
that. you would have to do the driving however as one of
missus newhouser's explosive boils burst in my eye this morning
while i was crawling around the floor at bing and libby's looking
for spare change.
hey, how come that g.i. joe you had gots a real beard? think
about that, that is weird, i mean, what do you think that thing is
up to? one minute it was in the tree house, and the next minute
none of us are safe!



Hunk Silfies
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3/07/2005
07:51:12
RE: chicken messages
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Moon Man,
whatever you do, don't pick up them blasting caps in the vacant lots, onacounta they blow up and your fingers fly off...........and, if your chickens eat them blasting caps, their entrails explode out their butts and them entrails is real hard to put back in.
H.S.


moon man mullins
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3/07/2005
12:35:24
RE: chicken messages
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damn! do those caps come with chin straps?
i was feeling kinda sick about the falling chicken turn what fell in
my mouth while i was sleeping, but knowing what i do now, i
feel kind of lucky. what if one of those birds had dropped a
blasted cap in my mouth??? what then???

ATTENTION HUNK: return my gas mask immedeatly, i am going
to wear it untill i know them chickins is safe!


Hunk
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3/08/2005
04:20:45
RE: chicken messages
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Dear Moon Man,
I will return your gas mask tomorrow, if thats ok. I have a big date tonight with Jumbo. We have reservations at Lums, to eat beer steamed hotdogs, Jumbo's favorite dish. Depending on wether she changed her diaper or not may necessitate the use of the gas mask. I would use a clothespin on my nose, but we both know that that would be futile. How is your bike?


moon man mullins
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3/08/2005
11:23:58
RE: chicken messages
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i'm thinking of going over to a skateboard. see if you can save
the foil from the hot dogs, i can use that until the gasmask is
available. i got these red spots that aint right, and i been having
crazy thoughts.


Hunk
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3/08/2005
12:46:36
RE: chicken messages
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skateboards are way cool. the only objection I have with them is that the chickens keep falling off, but I'm going to try and epoxy them to the wood........sos they don't get too banged up when I run into parked cars and trees and stuff. I have red spots too. I got em from when I slept over at Mrs. Newhouser's home the night of the sterno festival on front street. At first I thought they would just go away by themselves, the way my syphilis done, but they are getting larger and beginning to ooze something vile, the chickens have begun wearing gasmasks whenever they sense that I will be erupting. I don't have crazy thoughts though. My mind is in perfect working order.except for the voices, of course.
Peace, Out !
Hunk


moon man mullins
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3/09/2005
12:04:15
RE: chicken messages
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i told my ma once about the voices in my head and she told me i
should be grateful for the attention.
big news, i got the skateboard! it is a lot easier to moon on the
skateboard!
i think im gonna do a skate by mooning in the parkinglot
of the old a and p. i think i might try a weeping magician on
wheels. bring the chickens by and video tape it!
let's roll
m


Hunk
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3/09/2005
12:28:27
RE: chicken messages
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Yo Moon Man,
I'll meet you at the A&P; as soon as I can find some dry clothes......don't ask.......


chickalilly
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9/07/2005
13:47:39
RE: chicken messages
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boc boc braaaaack doont you boc talk about us boc boc chickens like you do, we will work, boc, you will see how boc, good we boc really are,
boc boc boc brraaaaaaack
Chickalilly featherpeace


Hunk Silfies
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9/09/2005
04:12:27
RE: chicken messages
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this here is a serious message board what used to be about the professor, but is now about chickens, so iffin' you ain't got nuthin' instructive to bring to this here chicken table (sic) keep your moronic comments, i.e. boc boc, to yourself..............you ain't follin' anybody, bush, we know it's you.........cornminer!


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