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D. Silerzbaggerz
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1/20/2005
06:08:00
Subject: Jerry Tribute
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Hello Fellow Fans:
It is with great relish that I announce the upcoming concert/cd/dvd " A Tribute to Jerry Charles, the man, the myth, the magic, the entertainer, the philanthropist, the troubled soul, the pinhead/giant head, the conqueror of sexually transmitted diseases and rabies, the singer once compared to Logus K. Drypes, proud uncle to Hunk Silfies, Ed Earl Jr., Former husband of Mrs. Newhouser, bartender at Bing & Libby's, Artic Fox Freezer, escaped mental patient, ex-con, Cementon skin show master of ceremonies, alcoholic, ski-ball enthusiast, olympic vomit team hopefull, inventor of the disposable camping latrine toilet, former cab driver, elvis impersonator, Allentown fair men's room porter, pig farmer, Mayor of Front St. Honda 50 mechanic, special liason to the Pope, novelty salesman (stinkbombs), fry cook, movie usher, itinerant cesspoll digger, professional bowler, unsuccessfull political attempt for president of the Moon, prison guard, prison inmate, Delco marine battery field tester, worm farmer, eel skinner, utility room dumper, wood bum, treefort constructionist, pot belly stove trunner, starightjacket runway model, sideshow curiosity, embarrassment to his parents, former member in bad standing of the 1965 Mustang owners club. Creator of the concept for the alternative lifestyle of never growing up, living in a van and taking orange barrells (well before this took off and became a national craze)Former prom date of Joyce, Sandra and Anna H. Honorary Slackter, Track star, inventor of the turtelneck dickey, champeen feeb diver, streaker, free lance boil lancer, movie star, twist champion, limbo instructor, lambada history professor, unlicensed doctor, human cannonball, big game hunter, rat catcher, rat breeder, inventor of the urine filled whiskey bottle gag gift, pyromaniac, escape artist, astronaut, chatter stand in, fifth beatle, burglar, 7/11 clerk, adult bookstore peep show cleanning crew leader, car wash employee, slot car mechanic, waste treatment center animal carcass retrieval specialist, taxidermist, Assistant to mr. Stralee, unsuccessfull candidate for nudist of the year, boardwalk belgian waffle barker, and inventor/field tester of the urinal cake...........to be continued..........


logus drypes
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1/20/2005
18:23:42
RE: Jerry Tribute
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and if you act quick you can get the director's cut, which
features rare betamax footage of my famous party trick, "the
weeping chinaman" see Uncle jerry laugh so hard his bag bursts
and sprays all over mrs. newhouser's fake fur go-go boots.
Uncle Jerry, may you finaly find a place big enough to rest
your mighty head.


Jerry Charles
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1/21/2005
03:37:24
RE: Jerry Tribute
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Hey Logus,
I bet you wish you had a head like mine........filled with nickels !
And another thing, Pudd Sepulveda is your pal, not mine.
I hate all of you. You are extremely mental. Lose my number, pronto.
Jerry


FN Krump
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1/21/2005
05:35:03
RE: Jerry Tribute
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Dear Logus Drypes, if that is your real name!
If you are who you say you are or who you think you are, then tell me your middle name!
I don't think you are Logus Drypes. You don't look nothin' like him. I think you are Ed. Go ahead. prove me wrong. what is your middle name, and don't lie , or make up something stupid, because I already know the answer. Anf another thing, in Drypesland, most alcohol containing products feature what chief ingredient?
Got you now, you sofa defiler !


logus drypes
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1/21/2005
07:11:24
RE: Jerry Tribute
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my first name is jerry, my middle name is logus, this name was
given to me by the great philosopher hugh romney at woodstock
after i helped relieve him of an embarrasing cat problem.

sometimes i too think i am ed.

A) sterno

and i am still a sofa defiler, that will never change.

was your card the jack of clubs?


Logus K. Drypes
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1/21/2005
07:33:10
RE: Jerry Tribute
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stop doing card tricks with that chicken barnyard shananagins porno deck, you ain't foolin anybody, you know. And stop impersonating me. I am the real me because I know my middle name, and you don't, you just wanna be me, because you are jealous. While sterno was a good guess, it is incorrect. Herman Freenatash has changed his name to Ed, so you can expect some lurid and obscene mail delivered to your home. Sure Fit Slipcovers is having a mid winter sale on all their urine proof sofa/couch/davenport plastic slip covers, but its probably too late to save your furniture anyway. Your upstairs neighbor, Helen Wetherly Newhouser Jr. thought you were operating a crank lab, it smelled so awfull. I told you that the glade air freshener would not be strong enough to cover up decomposing pets odors, and sacrificial frog offerings would not restore your urine soaked rotting floor board problems. Also, simply moving your sofa to different rooms is not a suitable solution for your dilemma. If you would ask your landlord, perhaps he would install a toilet or at least make you the loan of a bucket. I don't know what you learned at Catty High School, but I would bet it wasn't personal hygiene and deportment.
The Real Logus K. Drypes


herman freenatash
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1/21/2005
08:15:27
RE: Jerry Tribute
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urine bucket diving is only sanctioned from heights greater than
eight feet, so the sofa would have to be stood up on its side.
plastic slip covers are a direct violation of the international urinal
divers convention. unless of course the couch has been set a-
flame or greased with ukranian chicken fat.
notice: at the jerry charles memorial service i will be diving
into jerry's old steel-pot military helmet from out of the original
treehouse in the glade.
much thanks for the continued support,
this will be the year i unseat ed feebdiver,
whose strange obsession with urinal cakes
has greatly effected his ability to play the game.
i only wish my cousin, jerry, could be alive
for this one!
ed
call ME ed!

hunk-you will be covering this on your cable access show won't
you? you owe me!


ed feebdiver
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1/24/2005
08:31:55
RE: Jerry Tribute
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You kids coming up think you are so smart!! As if you are the
first one to bucket dive off a burning couch. I invented that!
you really want a challange, try enflaming and diving off of one
that has been marinating thirteen years in urine. I have urine
soaked couch cushions older than you. So what, I like the cakes.
Big deal. If you are stumping for a commercial endorsement,
you are wasting your time. Jerry Charles was the majority stock
holder in the manufacturer and with all his bastard kids running
around his estate is likely to be in litigation for years.
I would say more, but I am off to Encito and the funural of
Johnny Carson, who took his hero's (jerry charles) initials and
wrist watch and rode the rods to greater glory.
I will be diving into a vintage WW1 chromed bed pan off of
Jerry's old econoline, which will be driven by THE Ed McMahon.
My landing will only be cusioned by the last 1/2 ounce of the
Christmas urine Jerry gave me for the gift exchange back in '72.
Tree house diving-Ha! Rank Amaturism. Stay away from
urinal diving, you give it a bad name.
Seventeen Time World Champion,
The original "FEEBDIVER"!


Pudd Sepulveda Jr.
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1/24/2005
09:22:55
RE: Jerry Tribute
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Ah feerzuck, ah smersahed my beerealls on the reerzrock. I looked that up in the unofficial Ed Feebdiver biography written by LaVoy Pule and published anonymously under the moniker Lewis "Sofa Whizzer" Rashballs. You can look it up.


jerry charles
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1/24/2005
09:47:47
RE: Jerry Tribute
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ah for chrissakes! listen, no-one will be diving into my urine
now or anytime soon-except me-because i'm pissed. get real
and stop jacking yourself off!

I AM NOT DEAD!
I AM ALIVE!
I AM JERRY CHARLES!
THE REAL JERRY CHARLES

so go roll in piss if you want, but keep in mind: it aint mine!



ps-It is not too late to start booking your Valentines
entertainment.
thank you and look for me tuesdays at fat ray's!
color me the fuck outa here!


Jerry Charles
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1/24/2005
10:05:22
RE: Jerry Tribute
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Dear Jerry Fullofshit,
I am Jerry Charles. You aren't. bob & larry know who I am, and they are pretty sure they know who you are, which ain't me. The Prof knows me and will verify my veracity in court. You are a very confused individual. If you were really me, you know my middle name (Ed), which you don't, onacounta you ain't me. I hope this clears up some confusion. And another thing, I don't indulge in any form of recreational urinistic aquatic hijinks. Thats entirely between you and Lewis and his davenport. So, in closing, please become someone else, My identity is already being used by me. you could be Earl Jr, if you like fireaxes, beartraps, christmas bulbs and Jumbo.
Good Luck, Jerry Imposter, I hope you die soon .
I hate you
Jerry Ed Charles
c/o Mooneys


jerry charles
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1/24/2005
11:13:39
RE: Jerry Tribute
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You're all a bunch of nut bags! Neither of you are Jerry Charles,
I am Jerry Charles! You folks got too much time on your hands.
Let's get back to the good old days of Fuzzy Knight, Jerry
Mahoney, and Hydrox cookies and let us stop arguing about
who is or is not jerry Charles. In the end what difference does it
make. If it makes you happy to be me, by all means be me, just
send my agent, Mel Gruver, ten percent! And stay away from the
Slim Whitman tunes-I never quite pulled them off!
Well, we're outa here,
Jerry the C.


P 1


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