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Helen Wetherley
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1/17/2005
04:51:34
Subject: Death Notice
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Please be advised that my cousin, Jerry Charles, died after a long illness, over the weekend. Funeral arrangements have not be finalized because of the Monday holiday. I will supply more information as I receive it.

Thank you from Jerry's family
Helen Wetherley


logus drypes
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1/17/2005
08:26:27
RE: Death Notice
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mu uncle's heart was as big as his head.


Sky King
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1/17/2005
09:14:45
RE: Death Notice
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sometimes life is just unfair. i just talked with jerry, he was
planning a concert to help me regain my footing on the
boardwalk. he had complained of a headache-which as you
know is like dolly parton complaining of a chest cold (no offense
dolly). i rode the ride on the subway half way with him and we
were to meet again this week to hammer out details.
all i can say at this point is that jerry charles is an american
institution. i volunteer to sprinkle his ashes from the skylark
over his native drypesland as well as his adoptive home, east
catty, pending approval of his family.
logus, i am sorry little buddy, i guess the chinaman weeps no
more.
and just so you know, my card was the seven of clubs.
r.i.p. jc., a heart as big as all out doors, and
a head to match.
your sky pilot.

ps-don't believe a thing you read in that smut rag written by
elgin pew, he is a sensationalist and takes more than a few
liberties with the truth! if there were any justice, pew would
be on the morticians slab right now, with a tag on his webbed
toe, instead of jerry. shit, i need a drink.


Jerry Charles
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1/17/2005
09:25:41
RE: Death Notice
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Helen, you psychotic bitch.stop telling everybody I'm dead. I hate when you do this. Its hard enough getting work as it is. It wasn't funny when you did this last time, and its even less funny now. Please fans, don't believe this nonsense. I will be appearing at Bing & Libby's thru groundhogs day, with the ever popular aerial act, Bob & Larry opening the second show.
Your Pal,
Jerry


mel gruver
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1/17/2005
14:13:16
RE: Death Notice
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Kripes! Helen knock it off will you!! I had Jerry booked for two
weeks at palisades park, now they cancelled the whole shebang
and booked in that diving goat act, again.
Good thing I didn't throw away eht eulogy from last time. I
don't know about you.


zoltan fubwa
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1/17/2005
17:28:52
RE: Death Notice
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With all due respect to the late Mr. Charles, I wish to send my
profoundist greetings to Mr. Bing, and oh yes, Miss Libby...


Helen Wetherly
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1/18/2005
04:37:45
RE: Death Notice
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you are too dead................admit it, buttwipe, you ain't foolin anybody, you know!
aunt Pearl saw you molting in the broom closet, so don't tell me you aint deceased.
Helen Wetherley


enos
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1/18/2005
08:17:42
RE: Death Notice
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i too have seen you molting in the broom closet, jerry!


Jerry Charles
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1/18/2005
10:23:03
RE: Death Notice
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oh yeah.........well your insane too, Enos, Elgin, Lewie , pew, Earl Ed Elvis Jr. or whatever you are calling yourself these days from your padded cell in Rittersville. If you don't knock this crap off, I'm sending Hunk over to your parents tent to kick the shit otta your whole family. Have some respect for a real American!
Jerry Charles, not dead


pvt.treon
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1/18/2005
10:47:55
RE: Death Notice
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It is with great sadness that i respond to the death of Jerry
Charles. I served in the pacific with the man.
In fact, I am the one who taught him how to sing.
I played Buddy Grecco records for him ad naseua and kicked
him in the balls when he would go off key.
He was a kind and not too bright kid. Once, as we were all
shaving from our steel pot helmets, he took his helmet liner out
and his custom made steel pot was big enough to soak his feet
in. In fact we all soaked our feet in Jerry's helmet.
So, to the mortician that is probably pumping phormaldehyde
into the big guy's noggin right now: If he's got atheletes scalp-
he got it in service for his country.
Rest in peace, Jerry,
Pvt. Treon


dan jekutis
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1/18/2005
10:50:04
RE: Death Notice
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i am wondering if there is to be an open casket service, as i am
most anxious to take a picture of my son with jerry's corpse!
wow! what a great chance for some family bonding!


hunk silfies
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1/18/2005
10:53:18
RE: Death Notice
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jerry had a big head, but he knew squat about poultry. i once
caught him coming outa the popeye's and he pretended to be
someone else.
oh well, he's gone now!


Kurt B.
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1/18/2005
11:06:47
RE: Death Notice
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If Mr. Charles is dead, can I have his baseball cap? Some big kids took mine.

Kurt B.
Pinehurst Road


ted williams
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1/18/2005
11:44:06
RE: Death Notice
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it is my wish that the head of my favorite entertainer be tossed
into the cyrogenic nitrogen fed centrifuge currently occupied by
myself, a hand full of ball bearings and the left foot of some lady
from kenosha, wisconsin, whom i never met, her son works in
the lab and he just trunned it in.
christ, i hope i dont get atheletes scalp again. the people are
so unforgiving "why don't he tip his hat??", yeah right. go chase
yerselves!


Jerry Charles
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1/18/2005
12:33:41
RE: Death Notice
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allright, Helen, you think you are pretty sharp with this Jerry Charles dead shit, but, do your children know about the time you picked up dogwaste with your fingers, and chased Earl Jr. all around the rosegarden until you got within trunning distance, and then unsucessfully hurled at him, and missed, and hit some kid name Kurt B. in the head, knocking off cap, which was swiped by some idiot with a Honda 50 and a helmet full of saliva. I really don't know why you think you are so special. I bet your thumb is still discolored.........DYKE !
Jerry


ed
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1/18/2005
22:35:01
RE: Death Notice
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it's true, mrs. wetherly was always trunning turds at me. it got
so i had to walk the long way home from school because she
was always waiting behind the mail box on sherwood street with
a fresh one. for a while walking home the long way worked,
then she caught on and would pop up over there.
then she just started waiting for me outside the front door of
the school. she would stand under the flag pole and throw
dookie on me infront of my friends.
one night joyce and me parked near her house by mistake,
and we was getting all hot and heavy and i was trying to unhook
the six hooks and joyce was starting to wake up and mrs. w
suddenly tossed a turd in thru the cigar vent. if i had got my
pants up quicker i woulda run that woman down.
and she was always letting my chickens outta the tennis
court when i was out collecting cans. what a nut!
ah shit, im sorry, i got worked up. she was always okay to me
and she was one of the only adults that ever showed me
attention.


hunk silfies
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1/18/2005
22:37:41
RE: Death Notice
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those were my chickens, jackass! talk about nut jobs. i'd throw
shit at you too!


earl
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1/18/2005
22:40:31
RE: Death Notice
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aw lay off, i was at mrs. newhouser's when the news came about
jerry charles. we drank a few little kings and i might be a little
confused. i know someone used to throw crap at me, and i
remember something about chickens. whats it to you anyway?



zoltan fubwa
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1/18/2005
22:44:11
RE: Death Notice
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I to wish to offer my personal condolences to mrs. helen
wetherley on the death of her uncle, entertainer Jerry Charles.
I am here for you Mrs. Wetherey, should you ever require the
poop of dogs to be removed from your yard. Perhaps I can stop
by a little later?


Jerry Charles
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1/19/2005
04:37:58
RE: Death Notice
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my cousin Helen once tried to be a groupie for the Fugs, in the mid 60s. They wouldn't go for it and neither would you if you saw her back then, which ain't nuthin' compared to how she looks now, which is awfull. Any woman of her age, who frolics about her garden shed with her apron and housedress pockets stuffed full of dogwaste has at least one serious issue to deal with. I once tried to employ her as a dancing girl for my Vegas revue, but she kept insisting on performing her "cigar" act, and that was borderline bad taste, and I only work "clean", even in those days


Helen Wetherly
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1/19/2005
06:49:11
RE: Death Notice
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that cigar act went over big at the Cementon Fair. and, it was your own fault for drinking so much before the show., thats why you throwed up on the front row, that, and your unusually shaped nose.


Dick Cheney
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1/19/2005
09:25:37
RE: Death Notice
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It is with great sadness I write here today to comfort the fans of
American Icon, Jerry Charles. Mr. Charles exerted a great deal of
energy in entertaining the troops. His drop dead
impersonation of Alger Hiss was a scream. I remember one
night at Newt's pool, he snapped me on the ass with a wet hotel
towel and tried to blame it on Christopher Reeves. What a card.
So in honor of the big guy, whom I was fortunate enough to
room with in college, both my vice president, what's his name?
Ah, It really doesn't matter, and I, would like to declare today
"JERRY CHARLES DAY" and to celebrate his birth,life and death,
we will
be invading Drypesland by land and sea! Starting with a search
for wmd in that big jackasses over sized, weapon caching,
terrorist harboring noggin.
huh? how would you like to see Hunk Silfies naked, hand
cuffed in a fetal position? Or Ed jr., Earl jr, and that polite kid in
the nehru jacket, in a human pyramid and simulatig oral sex?
Don't forget who you are fucking around with.
Dick


Dr. BORG
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1/19/2005
09:41:14
RE: Death Notice
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I have with-held the cause of death on the death certificate
pending toxicology results, which should take no less than three
days. We appreciate your patients in these trying times.
dr. irving borg, md, wmd,phd,eio


Lewis Sofabladder
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1/19/2005
09:43:44
RE: Death Notice
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I don't know nuthin bout politics, but I do know that earl Jr. told me his wee wee glows in the dark.
thank you,
Lewis


Jerry Charles
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1/19/2005
10:48:51
RE: Death Notice
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Dear Dr. Borg,

I sincerely hope the toxology report states that I am in fact, not dead. i think it is you who are dead. Earl Jr., my soon to ex-nephew, has publicly informed me in private that his privates have been rendered into a strobe like condition as a direct result of your private examination of his privates (his wee wee) while he was a private in the Drypesland Foreign Lesion which he picked up at the Cementon fair skin show from Helen Wetherley, during a particularly spurious contagious period in her otherwise, dogwaste infected existence. What kind of quack are you?
and another thing, I found out that you can't do a colonoscopy with a garden hose, a funnell, a delco marine battery and a garden weasel. Thats a fact, you can look it up. You and Cheney deserve each other.
I hate you,
Jerry


dr. irving borg
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1/19/2005
11:01:36
RE: Death Notice
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I see Jekutis is still not being properly medicated.

I do not know where you get your information, but you are dead
wrong. Except for the garden weasel, that is an urban myth. We
here at the upper east catasauqua hopital for the socialy infirm
prefer the common ferret.
As for the penile condition of Earl jr, it is true that I have
examined his privates, but I can assure you there is nothing
there!



P 1


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